What's Up With That?!? - a Prayer

Ok, Lord - I'm paying attention. You are God, and You are wise, and You are holy, and I am reminded time and again how "Your ways" are not "my ways". And while I've been going through all kinds of junk in the last couple of weeks, You've been orchestrating something that's... well, loopy. What's up with that?

I take responsibility for the mistakes I've made that have hurt people I've loved. But since that one major screw-up, Lord - I've had more and more of these "little connections" then I ever remember having before:

That same day, I heard from Jonathan in Charleston, wanting to "ask a religious question, if you've got time." I worked with Jonathan years ago, and we've just barely kept in touch as he's moved on to other things, gotten married, etc. But this was out of the blue. In answering a question about the Trinity, I also re-connected with him and found out about his future plans and his wife's school plans.

I also heard from a few folks from the soon-to-be-revamped email list - writing to see how I was doing, to encourage me in moving forward, to check in and make sure I was breathing.

Got an email yesterday from someone at the local paper, looking to do an article on blogging and connectedness. Just interviewed with him, found out that he was a Christian, too - got to share that I blog as a way of processing together with others, as a way of asking questions and finding answers and asking bigger and better questions. Really cool conversation.

There was an email waiting when I get back from the interview from Eric, someone who's trying to startup a blog and who wants some pointers in adding links and sidebar text. I'm an "expert" now?!?

Then I get another email from a former church member/friend who I probably haven't had contact with in a couple of years - checking to see if I was involved with a small group, maybe watching and discussin THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST together. I'm not involved with anything like that at the moment, but she mentioned how she remembered doing a study in Revelation (five years ago?!?) off the back porch, how much fun that was, how challenging that was.

Today, I've gotten at least twice as many hits to this site as normal. I know that most of them are from "next blog" links from the Google/Blogger navbar at the top - but why me? My average at the new site has been about 60+ hits a day, and I've got over 125 hits already.

Years ago, in questioning my own calling, You showed Your hand a little more than I was used to, Lord. When I stepped into the small Christian bookstore, the salesperson at the cashier asked if I needed any help. "No, just looking" was my standard reply, and he dealt with his one customer. After she left, I turned from the CCM and books to head out the door, and he asked out of the blue, "Are you a pastor?" I'd been struggling, Lord, and I didn't know how to answer that question, so I replied with my own question: "What made you ask?" He said that sometimes he just knows, and that this time he knew, and "God wants you to know that you're right where He wants you, that you're in ministry because He wants you, and He loves you." I wept quietly all the way back to work after thanking him for his openness to be used of You.

Lord... I feel that same... filling & encouragement... right now. I don't know what it means, and I don't know where it will lead, but... I'm encouraged by the love and connectedness of the people who are re-connecting and who continue to remember our times and lives together. Thank You, Lord... thank you for the cross, for mercy and for grace, and for loving me in this very real way.

In Jesus' name, may I reflect that love back to those around me now... filled to overflow, O God... amen.