Getting Wet

I don't want to be doing this. I won't lie - I wish the events of the last couple of months had gone differently, that I hadn't made the mistake of sending the hurtful email that launched us on the journey towards "a new church home". But here we are, two and a half months later, about to attend church this morning, the "newcomers" group for lunch, and a new small group kicking off Tuesday night. I don't want to be doing this - but I am doing this, and I will do it with all my heart, with all my gusto. We need to plug in. We need friends & community to encourage us, to connect with, to grow in Christ together.

Don't get me wrong. This morning is the first time I feel like we're diving in and really getting wet in some new thing. I'm looking forward to today's plans, even as I look backward. There's an "ancient-future anchor" there (Len Sweet concept, if I can credit that properly, looking to the past as a tool to move into the future), a solid foundation built up over the years that will forever be a part of who I am and who I am to become. I'm excited to get to hear "the story" as it's flowed through the church's people, and I'm ready to share our story and how we think we're intersecting at this point in time. I think I'm ready for a small group, even if I'm not ready to get much more involved than that right now. I don't want to ... I appreciate that anonymity right now, and I want to go slowly, getting involved bit by bit, letting it take form rather than making something unrealistic or unnecessary shape according to my feelings or perceptions.

Someone asked me a couple of weeks ago: "Why do I need to find a church home?" I told him he didn't - but that the lack of a community of faith will be a hindrance to really growing & maturing in Christ. We're going to connect something new this morning, for better or worse, and it feels good. The right thing to do.