Love, Death & Grief

I haven't posted at all on the issues and circumstances surrounding the life and family of Terry Schiavo. The other night I watched as different sides of the aisle in the House took up their cause against the other, and I wondered where all of this would ultimately lead. This morning's Daily Dig deals with it as well, and says some things in a way I would if I could make a difference in their lives as parents, as a husband, as friends.

"In Terri’s case, there will be suffering on both sides, no matter how the controversy is resolved. All the more, shouldn’t each of us lay aside our opinions and agendas and ask what Jesus asked – that God’s will alone be done?"
- Johann Christoph Arnold

I do not know which "side" I would want to see "win". I honestly don't think "winning" will be a victory, will it? I think I understand a little the issues at hand: the parents love their daughter, and would do anything to have her alive and vibrant and living a life that's rich and full, and they're willing to be patient and care for her as best they can, as long as they can. I don't fault them on that at all. Her husband wants her to be at peace, wants her to have what he feels she would want. The picture painted of him as an evil selfish adulterer is trashed by the fact that he's still there - I can only imagine the love he might still have for her, how he wishes none of this had happened in the first place, how he wishes she were here, too, but wants her to be free from the bondage of the "persistent vegetative state" she's been locked in for fifteen years. If he didn't love her, he would be gone, and this would be a non-issue. On all sides, Terry Schiavo is loved, appreciated, and celebrated. The enemies are friends, family members, and loved ones who only want to do "the right thing".

We're not afraid of death as much as I think we're afraid of being left behind. We're afraid to grieve. We're afraid to change routine. We're comfortable with each other, love each other, rely on each other - and death wrecks relationships with its pain and remorse. We don't want to mourn, and we'll do whatever we can to prolong life and put off death because we don't want to say goodbye. It's selfish on our parts, but it's also what we were made for, to be together forever and enjoy the pleasure of each other's company for a long long time. It should hurt when someone leaves, and we should mourn when someone dies. That we want to hold on is admirable, and that we would love each other that much is incredible.

There will be probably be no winners in this situation, no one to pump their fists in the air and gloat. Instead, I pray that there is some resolution, some resolve, some push that will allow people to grieve, to love, to mourn, to cherish, to reconcile and to restore. That's what we're here for, too.