Thursday, December 02, 2004

Unscrewed

I lingered for a long time in front of my car, staring at the grill, the front bumper... the tag. It's been there for a few years. Looks nice, the white and blue rectangle standing out a bit against the black of the vehicle. I've had people stop me, ask me questions about it, about what it meant, where things happened. One evening about a month ago, "Steve" saw me in a drive-thru - came over to say Hi, to tell the others he wasn't doing so hot, to let them know he needed prayer, deliverance. I told him I'd pass it along - I think I left a message on voicemail that night. Anyway, I hope its been good advertising, made someone somewhere just toodling around town pause a moment to consider its message.

I bent down, unscrewing each of the four bolts, knowing that this was just one more thing taking me from a previous lifetime, forward into the one still to come, the one still building. Its been awhile since I added this particular accessory, and it should hurt a bit, drag on a bit in removing it from my bumper. I've waited a long long time. Taking my time with the bolts now seemed appropriate.

After it came off - easier than I thought/hoped it would - I hovered again, noticing how blank the front of my car was now. When you take something away, maybe you should feel its absence a bit, not rush to fill in the hole with any little thing right away, you know? Anyway, I do have a new plate, a replacement for this one-more-part of the journey. It's not as meaningful, probably - not as unique, pushing football and basketball more than relationships and healing. But again, it'll look alright on the black bumper of my black CRV.

Going to leave it blank for awhile, though. Easier to remove than it should've been, replacing that old tag. Harsher than it needed to be, too.

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