Very Grateful

We are stuffed full - turkey and ham and corn and stuffing and peas and green beans and on and on and on. Next: leftovers. And then there's the football - second game starting, meaning that a nap should come around somewhere in here soon. I'm grateful for family, for being able to spend time together and enjoy each other.

The past year has been full, to say the least. I don't know that I would've guessed we'd be settling into a new church, or that we'd be making new friends under the circumstances of hurt and betrayal and renewal and all that. Relationships require hard work, and are still very fragile things. The fire of hurt and misunderstanding can tear them down or strengthen them - jury's still out on which way we're going right now. If there's anything I miss right now, it's old friends. I don't know that I would change anything, except of course the pain, the way things happened. But we don't always control fate, coincidence and providence, do we? But I'm grateful for the pleasure of relationships, old and new, and for the people who have danced through our lives.

What has all this done to me personally? It's made me more introspective, less "out there", more prone to keep quiet instead of blurting out the sarcastic remark or silly commentary. Others might not agree - but I notice that I keep to myself more these days. What I lack in confidence, I hope I've gained in self-control. I ponder things deeply these days, something that was probably a character flaw in the past, that hopefully is turning into a plus heading forward. I want more of my meditation, more of my pensiveness, to be towards God, His ways and His purposes in creation and the world/culture around me. I don't think I laugh as much, but when I do I mean it more - if that makes sense. I also find that I'm more judgmental towards others, more pessimistic about the future than I have known myself to be in the past. But I think that I'm grateful for the opportunity to go through life changes and still trust the Spirit's guiding hand, to at least look for it and grasp in faith for the next step, the next door, the next opportunity to watch His grace in action.

I'm grateful for those who read here, who pray, who interact however quickly or invisibly through this site. Thanks, and may your Thanksgiving be full, too